Hot Apollo

Toronto's Shiniest Rock-and-Roll Band

Moon Base!

Apparently the easiest thing to do in politics is an accusation of insanity. Whenever one guy wants to make progress in one direction, they just spin the idea and make him seem crazy. Obama wants to reform health care? He’s actually going to shove your grandparents in a gas chamber. That whole thing. Whatever. I get it. People want to discredit their opponents. Fair enough. But sometimes progress is crazy because it’s awesome. I just want to say this. I’m not really a conservative. I have no desire to get into politics or pay attention to that scene at all. I just want to say this. Don’t pretend that you don’t thoroughly want a moon base. Maybe the time frame is slightly optimistic. Maybe it’s not an idea that would provide value for its cost. But the one thing that makes me cautious about hugging Jules Verne is that rant in which he asks to see metal that flies. You know? Progress is crazy. We can build submarines. That’s pretty awesome. Someone will obviously design a moon base. It’s the sort of thing that’s going to be feasible at some point in the future. I don’t know whether it’ll ever happen, but someone will consider it. When you think about it, it’s actually a step below space stations. People already build those. Building a big mess in the middle of space? No problem. Building the same thing on ground? Why is that automatically more insane? No. Step off. Moon bases are fantastic.

Now. I’m not a Republican, and that probably means that I’m obligated to criticise Newt Gingrich for something. I’ll readily admit that I don’t really have a solid understanding of the political system. In the entertainment business, people often change their birth names to make themselves seem more attractive. Maybe it’s the opposite in politics. I don’t know why someone would change his name to Newt. Newt Gingrich. What’s wrong with Leroy McPherson? It sounds like a cowboy! Republicans love cowboys, don’t they? No. You had to name yourself after a slimy amphibian. For someone who wants to be the president, you don’t seem to want people to like you. What did you say when your kindergarten teacher asked the kids about their dream jobs? “I don’t care. I just want to be slimy. You know. Like a newt.” “Well, Leroy. I don’t know whether the newt business is entirely lucrative in these times, but you should consider politics.”

Copyright © 2011, Jaymes Buckman and David Aaron Cohen. All rights reserved. In a good way.