I Get to Wear Feathers at Work Tomorrow!

 

 

This might be somewhat surprising, but I don't go to job interviews in feathers and shiny leggings. I did at one point, but then I realised that it was a hindrance in the majority of cases. After this epiphany, I began to wear gold jeans instead. You know. I wanted to look like a normal person.

I've been trying to hide my nature from my current employer. I take the feather cloak off on the subway and put it in a bag. I wear my leggings under my gold jeans. After work, I often go up to the Pizza Pizza on the next block to change. When I go back down that street, I walk on the other side. 

Today my boss told me that he thought that it might be interesting for me to do my job in a tuxedo. For the contrast!

"Actually, I do try to dress down when I come to work."

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"When I'm on my own time, I'm generally more flamboyant."

"Oh. Yeah. I kind of assumed."

Perhaps I am not so skilled in the maintenance of such illusions. 

Anyway! Then he said that he didn't care about things that have no negative effect on business. Which . . .

Thank you!

You remember what happened at that newspaper internship. Why do I have to wear pants in the mailroom? Who cares? What goes on in your business deals? 

"Well. We like everything you do here, but we're not signing any contract with a company that has shiny people in the mailroom."

"What?"

"Your man. He wears leggings."

"Oh. No. We fixed that. He wears white jeans now."

"Oh. Well. That's fine then."

Man. Who wants to have to worry about belts at work? Am I right? No disrespect to belt makers. But belts aren't in my job description, man! I know what I do. I take naps instead of lunch. What's wrong with that? The other people in the office were just playing video games. I was doing something useful! I obviously don't sleep when there's work to be done. In fairness, I've fixed that anyway. I don't limit myself to two hours of sleep per night anymore. I really had no way to know that I'd need to go to bed earlier for a job that began in the morning. 

Apart from that stuff, I still liked that job in some ways. I'd definitely be willing to do that kind of work again.

But my current job will allow me to wear feathers tomorrow!

Copyright © 2011, Jaymes Buckman and David Aaron Cohen. All rights reserved. In a good way.