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Smooth Translations


I've been reading some of Haggard's works in his Ayesha mythos, and though they are splendid, there's one indulgence that sticks out. In "She", there are some multilingual inscriptions that bear some heavy plot relevance. For some reason, he decides to write out the translation in each language, which goes on for pages, some of which don't even use the same alphabet. That sequence of blank pages in Stephanie Meyer's "New Sun" seemed slightly pompous when I read it, but at least it served as a way to convey the acute sense of nihilistic despair the narrator was experiencing. But this was just . . . Did he not think that we'd believe that the other translations existed? He had to actually transcribe them? It's just a weird move. But hey. He's a writer. Writers are allowed to make weird moves. It's something of a speciality. This one just wasn't my favourite. But I will say that it didn't actually detract from my reading experience at all. It's very easy for me to skip over foreign text. I don't play that. Living the anglophonic life, baby. That's my tongue, and I'm sticking with it.

I also saw "Bridget Jones's Baby". Colin Firth has remarkably smooth arms. Not just for a man. Not just for a man of his age. We're talking about baby buttock level. I thought that he woke up in Bridget's embrace, but I was mistaken. That was his arm.

Bonus Question!

Ayesha versus Firth! Who has smoother arms?

Considering that exquisite skin is basically one of Ayesha's superpowers, she gets the victory here. Still, Firth competed admirably.

Copyright © 2011, Jaymes Buckman and David Aaron Cohen. All rights reserved. In a good way.